There was a recent New York Times piece about realtors desperate to find vacant New York City apartments to sell. My latest piece imagines one of those realtors.
How are you enjoying your high-speed Internet? Hope you’ve downloaded everything you're ever planning to, because I have it on good authority that your building’s connection cables are about to be yanked out of the ground by some enterprising young realtor. (And we both know he can — and will! — keep doing that each and every time they’re fixed.)
So before the water starts tasting funny — and, trust me, it’s about to — and your power starts to mysteriously go out every time you’re trying to use your microwave, you might want to give me a call. It’s going to be much harder to sell once someone dies in your apartment.