Thank You For Being My Health Care Proxy

I've got a new piece on The Bygone Bureau satirizing the health care proxy.  If no one else has satirized health care proxies... perhaps there's a good reason.  Quick teaser:

1. If I am conscious, but have lost the ability to make appropriate decisions, I do not want cardiac resuscitation, mechanical respiration, or access to my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I do not want tube feeding, except for ice cream, preferably Mint Chocolate Chip. Cookie Dough is an acceptable substitution, but please be sure that the chunks of cookie dough do not get caught in the tube.

Here's the link.